Unexpected Blessings

Lately God has been reminding me that He has not forgotten about me. Most of the time IF really makes you feel like God has forgotten you. I think it's one of the biggest struggles we face with IF. We wonder why God passes us up over and over and over again. We continually surrender our desires to God, hoping that He takes this thorn away from us, hoping he at least takes the sting of IF away from us, hoping that maybe He'll even bless us. But usually all we get is more thorns, thorns that feel more like daggers. He doesn't make it better and you don't understand why. At least take the pain away God, can't you just change the way I feel so this isn't so hard?????

But, God has been showing up here and there and I am really thankful and want to acknowledge that. Just leading us to IVF and our RE in the manner that He did was a blessing. Hearing from friends and family who know about our struggle that they prayed about us at their Bible study, or at their church is a blessing. Other poeple who don't even know us are praying for us....that brings me to tears. Having relatives offer their wombs to carry our baby is a blessing (I can carry my own baby, I just can't make one - but thanks anyways!). Hearing stories of others who have had successful adoptions or IVF's who have struggled even longer than we have is a huge blessing and encouragement that God finds a way in his own time. Just knowing that friends and family are praying for us is a blessing. We really, really feel those prayers. We are also really, really working on returning those blessings of prayer for our friends and family!

We were even blessed by having two different sets of friends visit us on a whim from Chicago and take us out for dinner over the past two weekends. I've been really praying that we could connect with more couples who are child free and both of these couples do not have children. It was such a blessing and an answer to prayer.

I know that God is there all the time, even when I don't feel Him, even when I am truly convinced (at the time) that He doesn't care about me anymore. So, I know these blessings are just moments when God has opened my eyes so I can see them and my heart so I can feel them - and what a relief they are to my soul!

This song was featured on So You Think You Can Dance a couple weeks ago and it brought me to tears because I felt like it was me singing it, it''s just so beautiful! I thought it was appropriate for this post.