I realize that I tend to blog like I clothes shop. I really dislike shopping so I am a one-stop shopper. I tend to go very infrequently but buy more at one time rather than shopping often and purchasing things here and there. I'm not saying I hate blogging but that I tend to wait until I have a lot of updates and do it all at once.
Moving update:
We accepted an offer on the house yesterday!! So, about 10 weeks on the market and it's sold - not bad. We have to hurry and find a house because have to be out in 30 days, yikes! I am getting excited about returning home and having a new house to fix up and decorate.
Surgery update:
Oh boy.....I sought a 2nd opinion and it did not go well. the doctor I saw said some things that made it very evident that she is not up to speed with infertility issues. First, she assumed I had PCOS just becasue I have one ovary that has two cysts on it and I tend to get functional, simple cysts frequently. I do not have ANY symptoms of PCOS. I am willing to explore whether or not I have it, and it's possible that I do, but she just said that I for sure have it. Ok? how come none of the THREE RE's that I have seen thought I had PCOS? Or any other OBGYN's? Second, she said that I have premature ovarian failure becuase of my high FSH. WRONG. I do not have POF, I have diminished ovarian reserve - there is a difference. It bothered me that she did not know the difference.
Sooo.....I do feel comfortable with my original doctor, I only sought a 2nd opinion due to the possibly more invasive procedures he was saying he may need to do. so, I plan to schedule surgery with him after our move. HOWEVER......this is a long story, but to make it short, I am seeing a 3rd doctor. My MIL loves her OBGYN. She has been wanting DH and I to go see her for several years now. We have declined basically because after seeing three RE's (who have all told us the same thing), what is an OBGYN going to do for us? There is nothing that can be done. My MIL just doesn't get this. She thinks that someday, some dr. is going to come up with the magical formula that is going to solve our fertility problems. anyways, we finally agreed to go see this dr. to get another opinion about my surgery and also consult with her about infertility. I suppose it doesn't hurt to get a 3rd opinion for surgery (although I don't believe it's necessary anymore), but I also feel like it's necessary for me to do this for my MIL and for my DH, so that they can put the *possibility* behind us that this doctor can somehow help us. I need him to hear it, and I need MIL to hear it, that what all of the other doctors are saying is true. I need to close this door for THEM, and I am ok with that. My MIL told me "don't do this just because you want me to stop bugging you about her", but honestly, that's exactly what I am doing. For us to move forward with our next step, we all need this closure.
Which brings me to my next topic......
Adoption plans:
One reason I am willing to close the door is that DH and I had a serious discussion about adoption. He is feeling more ready to seriously look into it. i really think he needed to work through his grief, to let go of the dream that we are going to have a biological child (as did I, but I've been ready for a lot longer). I don't think we will ever stop hoping, but after 5 years and more doctors telling us that it will be next to impossible to conceive, I think DH is realizing that it's just not going to happen as he planned. It seems like he is coming to terms with that, I can sense him letting go of "his" dreams of what our family is supposed to look like. Our plan right now is to start seriously looking into agencies once we are done with our move. Of course, I have been researching agencies the whole time and already have a file folder of info packets :) we now need to take a more serious look. also, I know that I want to be more prepared for this, emotionally and spiritually, so while we are waiting for our move I am planning to purchase some books on adoption. I can't say for sure we will adopt, we are still praying about it, but for the first time, we are both wanting to look into it and are seriously considering it. We need to spend a lot of time in prayer together as we seek God's plan for our next step.
Noelle,
ReplyDeleteSeveral HURRAYS on this blog post. First, congrats on selling your house!!! :) So happy that it happened quickly for you guys (in the grand scheme of how the market works these days) and that you can finally reside again with your husband!
And, I'm so happy to hear that Mike's heart is opening to the idea of adoption. I know you've had your heart and mind set on this for a while (I LOVE that you have your info packets all ready to go!) and I think it's so commendable that you have simply been praying for Mike and waiting on God to make him ready for it, as well. What a beautiful thing! I will continue to pray that you two will be parents, no matter what that looks like. It is hard to begin to close the door (in your mind) to what you thought your family would look like... trust me, I'm already going there in my head a bit, too, but to be at a place where you're allowing him to get there in his own time- and now he is!- is so amazing! I'm smiling for you guys right now :)
And, WOW on your second opinion RE. That is astounding that she didn't seem to really know what was going on... I'm SURE you knew more about all of this than her! I'm glad you feel good about your first RE and hopefully you both will feel peace about the surgery and moving forward with that if that's what needs to be.
Hugs, friend! :) -Ann