IF makes life hurt. It just hurts. Every day. Yesterday was a horrible, horrible day. Spent a good part of it literally yelling and screaming at God and another good part of it with my tear stained cheeks (the ones on my face people) stuck to the floor. I just had to let Him know. I had to let Him know how unfair I think this is. I had to let Him know that I need resolution and can't do this much longer. I had to let Him know that I think IF is NOT a good plan for us. I had to let Him know that I think it's absurd that it's so hard for us to get PG when it's so easy for everyone else. I had to let Him know that my DH deserves to be a father and it's just not right that he is not one. I had to let Him know that we don't deserve to have IF. I had to let Him know that I can't handle seeing everyone else get their dreams fulfilled over and over again while we sit here with NOTHING.
Some days I just don't know if He hears me or even cares. Yesterday was one of those days.
Noelle, prayers for you guys continue... every time I think about you... My heart hurts for you and I get teary just reading your blog. I'm just so sorry. I think it's ok to have those days where you just sort of yell at God and let Him know what you think and I'm glad you feel open to be able to share that on your blog. Blessings to you and Mike. I am so praying that this miracle happens for you.
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