Life has just been steady lately. It's good. I am enjoying my job. It's not a high stress job, and I am enjoying that right now. I feel like things are balanced in my life and it feels like a good place. We are dreaming up and drawing up plans for renovating our home. It was built in the 70's. It was remodeled since then.....in the 80's. It is definitely lagging about 25 years in style! The biggest reno that we will do is the kitchen, the rest is just cosmetic (paint, flooring, window treatments). My family room....oh my family room, it's just.....offensive. Can't wait to dig in and make it pretty! We've spent so much time outdoors on our yard that we haven't paid much attention to the indoors until recently. It will be a while before we can tackle the kitchen, but we are dreaming in the meantime.
We have started the paper trail towards adoption. We are currently sorting through and filling out mountains of paperwork. It took us a while to finally decide on an agency, but we feel confident in our decision. I've recovered, mostly, from my surgery. It definitely took a lot longer this time around. I would say until about 2 weeks ago, I was still sore and even a bit bloated and puffy. My pants still don't fit quite right. It's that or I really have just been eating too much! I need to get this body back in shape! Ok. back to the adoption. It's been an emotional roller coaster. We know we are taking the right steps, and we feel at peace about it, but it's hard, putting to bed my dreams of PG. The hurts and stings of IF have not gone away. I still can't take PG announcements, or look at PG bellies....I wonder if those hurts will ever really go away, but I know God is working on our hearts and preparing us for what is next. I know the wait may be long, and that is what is hardest for me right now. I want a baby, like yesterday....more like, 6 YEARS AGO, or maybe, my ENTIRE LIFE. So in perspective, 1.5 years of waiting (the average time right now) shouldn't be so long, right? It's all a bit overwhelming, but I am glad I have things in my life to keep my occupied.
Noelle, my heart and prayers continue to go out to you and Mike with this journey. It sounds like you're in a good place right now, all things considered, and I'm so glad. I so know what you mean about "will this pain ever go away"... Mark and I talked about that this weekend, sort of a "what if it doesn't happen for us" type of conversation, and I'm so scared that whatever choices we make if that were the case, that I'll never stop being sad... Will continue praying for you guys on the adoption road, that you will feel peace and excitement over this as it draws closer.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the adoption! I'd love to follow your blog (besides just lurking, I mean. I found you through another IF blogger, although I forget who now, and I've been reading for about half a year.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, hubby and I finally gave up on fertility drugs and started the adoption process as well. I haven't given up hope of a bio baby someday, but I'm honestly just as excited to adopt! :)