I haven't had much time to think about IF lately. I started a new job and I am taking two classes, plus we are seeing our counselor one night a week, so it doesn't leave much time to think right now. I guess that's good, except I forgot and let my guard down and of course, an IF reminder rears up, in one of those unsuspecting places when you are not prepared. Not that being prepared ever helps, because it hurts just as much...but.....

I was having lunch with a bunch of co-workers today and they were asking about my last name and saying how beautiful they thought it was. They wondered about the background or nationality of it and I explained to them my husbands ethnicity. One of the ladies asked in a round about way what he looked like (i.e., does he have dark skin/hair/eyes), so I told them that he actually has pretty light skin, blue eyes and dark hair. And one of them blurts out...

"oh the babies....you will have BEAUTIFUL babies.....'cuz you know, that's the most important thing, it's all about the babies....oh yours will be so beautiful!!

Yes, she was right. Our babies would have been beautiful. Exquisite. But we will never meet our babies. We will never know what they would look like. The rest of the world assumes that we are just like everyone else and will have children. But something's wrong with us, we are abnormal and don't get to have what everyone else has. There will be no babies.

How do you tell that to a bunch of people you just met?